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Are you wilting?

June 5, 2013 in Discipleship, Leadership, Living, personal with 0 Comments

There were a few subjects I was thinking of blogging about today, but couldn’t decide on just one. I poured myself a cup of coffee, (with Vanilla creamer and whip cream, sprinkled with Cinnamon) and walked out to my back patio.

A thriving plant that I had transplanted from the front yard to a pot for the patio caught my eye. It had started to bloom some bright colors and I had thought that placing it in the backyard would make it a nice bright focal point. However, the plant is wilting and not looking so healthy.

I starred at this plant and I started thinking……

You and I were ultimately created for one purpose, to worship God. He also created you to be you, and me to be me. I’m not sure if it’s what God intended, but we have specific churches that appeal to the individuals of our world. There are the traditional, the contemporary (is that phrase still being used?), the “non-denominational”, and etc; each to serve the different person that make up the Church.

Now for those inside the ministry and part of the leadership team, we see a little more of the “behind the scenes” of church. We truly see how staff conflicts are dealt with, how people are treated, and several other elements that make up of the church.  This I believe, changes my perspective just a little.

When you are attending and serving (and yes, you need to be serving), all what that church is about either feeds you or does not. But listen, if you are not serving you are not adequately giving that church an opportunity to feed you!!

Back to the plant. The difference of the backyard is more sunlight. The plant calls for partial sun. I had taken a plant that was created for shade and placed it in an environment where it didn’t belong. I’m watering it, I’m doing everything I can to make it work, but it’s still wilting.

If you are in an area that is different than what you are created for, perhaps you’re created for a different environment and here is nothing wrong with wanting to thrive. Sometimes we think it will be better in one place, but through time and trying to maintain, we begin wilting.

A thriving body of believes will have more impact in our communities and in our cities. Attend the church where you know that you will bloom because it’s the setting you were meant to be in.

Thoughts, leave a comment. :)

 

 

 

 

 

Advice to young leaders

May 29, 2013 in high school, How To, Junior High Ministry, Leadership, Student Ministry with 0 Comments

We live in a result-driven era. Success is often determined by physical results. The CEO of a corporation must improve sells, increase cash flow, etc. CEO of a non profit must increase donations, volunteer base, etc.  The pastor of a church must increase…wait, be careful.
I agree that numbers is a unit of measurement that can help define growth. But I would argue that it would define success.  With this mentality, that numbers must increase, it can cause young leaders to concentrate on the wrong priority of ministry.

Do I believe that numbers are important? Yes. Don’t hear me  say that I don’t care about numbers, because I do. However, I will say that it’s not my number one priority in ministry. (I think it’s naive to say don’t consider it at all)

Since I’m in student ministry, I’m coming to this from that angle.   Students matter. They’re not just people filing a room. And the moment you’re trying everything you can to fill the seats, you will lose track that these people matter to God and the spiritual encouragement, instruction, and teaching is a great foundation for growth..trust me.

Every student ministry I’ve led has seen dynamic growth, both spiritually and numerically. Focus on the spiritual matters and the rest will follow. Students are wanting REAL. They’re wanting FRESH. And they understand the tricks to get them in the door. They won’t be fooled.

Here is some advice.

1) Love Jesus Well!  Be pro-active in your conversations and in your programming. Allow him to be the focal point of each gathering. And if you think this can’t be fun, energetic, and attractive, then you’re misleading yourself.

2) Be racially obedient: Pray for your ministry and students. What do you truly believe Christ wants you to accomplish? Listen to Him and and obey Him. Having a ministry focus like this will give you leverage like no other.

3) Don’t worry about the results: We can often sink ourselves when we start focusing on the result. Focusing the result first is a backwards ministry mentality that will ultimately have you end up discouraged.

Success is defined by intimacy with Jesus, nothing else. If you have students who love Jesus and want to radically live for Him, you will have a ministry that is attractive by students who are searching for a void in their lives.
This blog was motivated by a tweet from Billy Humphrey.

 

Attractive program vs. attractive relationships

April 24, 2013 in high school, Junior High Ministry, Leadership, Student Ministry with 0 Comments

For the last several months since January, we’ve seen a HUGE increase in the number of students who attend our student ministry. And I’m not talking about those that lurk on the sidelines, who aren’t involved, aren’t connected. I’m talking about our visitors who are checking us out and come back the next week “all in”.

I had someone ask why is our student ministry growing?  First off, do you notice how I said “our” vs “my”? I’m not a big fan of saying it’s my ministry, because in the trenches, it’s really not my ministry but a combination of awesome leaders who work ALONGSIDE me. But I guess that can be a different post.

If you’re a progressive leader (in which I would consider myself) you may not like my answer. In January I STOPPED focusing on how to build an ATTRACTIVE MINISTRY and STARTED focusing on building ATTRACTIVE RELATIONSHIPS.

As I looked at the ministry as a whole, I stayed at church real late after a youth service to debrief with me, myself, and I. My heart was aching for the students that were faithful in coming but I didn’t feel  complete me as a leader. I have a heart for outreach, for the broken hearted that don’t attend church, for the ones walking in the  school hallways that are dealing with issues that even their closest friends don’t know about.

So I made a shift in our strategy.

After spending some time in prayer, I grabbed a legal pad and began writing down as many students that I knew off hand. Then I went to our online data base and grabbed all the students who have been coming.  For the next few weeks I wrote notes on them from the outcome of conversations. Sports, favorite things in life, biggest hurdles, biggest wins, schedule for school, life events, etc.

I shared these with the rest of the leaders.

Every Monday I would begin to pray for these students BY NAME! We started asking questions ABOUT THEM. We started investing our conversations that pertained to THEM.

We changed our sermon series to things that came about in our conversations. (We never picked out a specific conversation, but when planning our series, we would notice specific themes and those would be concentrated on).

After a month with this change of mentality. I got a phone call from a parent. A parent who DID not go to our church (Say what?!) She had heard from another parent of what we’ve been talking about in youth and that her daughter really never fit in anywhere. She said she had been hearing great things about our student ministry and they were praying that her daughter would find a place to connect.

I forwarded that e-mail to my leaders. She was there the next youth night. The week after that, she brought a friend. A week after that they both brought a mutual friend. And that is only one story. When I had e-mailed that mom after the first week, I wanted to see how it went. I wanted honest feedback on how a visitor perceived our ministry. This is what she wrote:

“Thank you so much for having our girls last night! ###### could not stop talking about the wonderful new friends she has met and how fun her evening was. ########  felt at ease and exceptionally welcomed! she even promised new friends she would see them next week! You may be used to hearing this, but it’s huge for us in our search for a place for her to belong! I am beyond thrilled to finally get the excited feedback I received last night and into today from #######. Her heart has been guarded because of some past experiences, so to feel so welcome is a blessing she has been praying for!

Thank you for your email and for checking on us. Taking the time to do so reflects your caring and compassionate nature, and means so much to our family. ####### cannot wait for next week! I too look forward to becoming a part of your church community and building new relationships.”

So friends started bringing friends and our group tripled since January. I can’t exaggerate the power of relationships. We’re wired for relationships. We all don’t need them to the same degree, but we all need them. Students (Whether Middle or High School) are no different. Making it a priority to build into our student ministry the value of “helping students develop healthy relationships.” Helping them understand the importance of meaningful relationships with their peers, with adults, and with Christ.

Middle School students, specifically, are facing the most tumultuous years of life alone.

So why has our youth ministry grown, because we stopped focusing on what they were attending, and started focusing on those who attended.

 

 

The Sweet Spot!

April 17, 2013 in Discipleship, Leadership, mentoring, personal with 0 Comments

Have you ever had a meeting with someone and you start sharing things you’ve learned from God lately. But really it’s the first time you’ve articulated out loud. You begin to smile on the inside as the truth of the reality of God in your life sinks in and above all else, it makes sense. Then you go back to your home or office and try to remember how you said it so you can write it down.  Yea, that’s me right now.

Reading 1 Samuel today 19  I love the fact that you have a guy named David, who a while back fought a bear, and a lion. Two bad separate situations. And those two bad situations prepared him to fight a Philistine. He was favored among God and roused jealousy among men, more specifically Saul.  Even though David benefited Saul, Saul grew angry at the popularity of David.
And when Saul tried sending a group of men to David, the Spirit of God came upon them. Saul tried sending another group….same thing happened. A third time and again, the Spirit of God came upon them. Then Saul thought he’d go himself and kill David. But what happened? The spirit of God came upon even Saul.  I would venture out and say that God is great at intercepting!

I think back of the hard times that David went through. The Bear. The Lion. Goliath. His friend Saul trying to kill him. Not just kill him but hunted to find and kill him.

David heads to someone who is a pillar in the faith (Samuel) and is totally protected. At that moment, David was in his sweet spot. At a place to see those who are against him being overcome by the Spirit of God.
Perhaps the issues you’re facing today is only the sweet spot God is preparing you for.

Teams are vital to youth ministry

April 16, 2013 in Discipleship, high school, How To, Junior High Ministry, Leadership, Student Ministry with 0 Comments

1. A team approach should be fun.

I often hear how churches are ran like businesses. True. Granted I think The Church has a long way to go to lead like Christ and we can learn from successful businesses, but that’s a different post.

I’ve been in too many meetings where it’s way too serious. Ministry should be fun! Yes, there are things on the agenda and at times there is a level of serious discussion. However, if your meetings are serious 100%  ALL the time, then you are leading wrong. If you’re only talking about spiritual matters more than practical matters then you’re leading wrong. Strong statements to write and say, but it’s needed to be said.

Everyone should enjoy what they are doing and enjoy hanging with one another. It’s about having fun. Take your team outside of the church walls and have the meeting over coffee or breakfast (or lunch). Invest in your team!

I remember the day I started leading my team differently by first moving the meeting away from the office.  It was an overnight success.

Get to know them and invest in their lives!

2.  To keep volunteers, connect them to their passions.

People will excel at what they are passionate about. Give tasks that will facilitate their gifts.  If you connect them with what they love and want to serve, they will stay for the long haul.

We need to help them find their sweet spot, that area where they walk away and say YES I want to go back and do that again.   Reward with affirmation. Don’t treat the staff like an employee. Whether it’s a paid staff member or a volunteer. And…yes, even if it’s an employee, treat them like an asset!!  Don’t manage your team, lead your team.

3.  You have to have a mental shift in yourself. 

We need to have a mental shift from ‘I have to do everything myself’ to ‘Who is going to help and who am I going to do this through?’…That is the mental shift that will take youth ministries from 30 kids to 50 kids  to 100.”

4.  Share your visions and dreams.

You don’t have to sacrifice your vision, you just have to share it with the rest of your team… He (God) didn’t give it to you for you to do it alone.

If you are not giving away ministry on a regular basis, your ministry is going to fail if something happens to you and you leave.”

 

Thoughts contributed by Real Life Youth Ministry.

Student Ministry through Facebook

April 13, 2013 in Discipleship, high school, How To, Junior High Ministry, Leadership, social media, Student Ministry with 0 Comments

3 questions for student ministry

April 1, 2013 in Discipleship, high school, How To, Junior High Ministry, Leadership with 0 Comments

If you are a high energy passionate person like me ,than you’ve got to admit that it can be hard at times to sit still while the excitement of ministry builds up side you. That’s why I write down my thoughts on a white board or something so I don’t forget about what I dream up.

Last week I had my first vacation since my wife and I have been married, which is almost 10 years.  I tried not to think of ministry on my trip but of course once in awhile a thought would sneak in.  But on the way home I started thinking about three basic questions for student ministry.  This is feeding from the fact that my middle school ministry is booming! There is energy, momentum, excitement, and it’s awesome to be in that zone. And while in this zone we’re seeing many new faces.

These questions are being asked to myself and my staff.

1) Where does the new guy/gal go? (are they accepted, do they feel a sense of belonging, can they buy in and feel a sense of immediate ownership?)

2) What happens when he/she develops? (Are we just reaching the newbies without a plan in place that will build discipleship, growing them into more than just Christ-followers, but leaders?)

3) What does their environment look like? (Does it match who they are, do they feel excited about attending, do they get a buzz from being there?)

I believe these questions are the 3 basic questions.  How would you answer them in your ministry? Would other questions would you ask?

 

10 Do’s of youth staff

March 13, 2013 in Junior High Ministry, Leadership with 0 Comments

Volunteers (Youth Staff) place a huge element in my student ministry. They lead our break-out groups and small groups, converse with students, and really are the hands and feet of the youth ministry. In addition, I appreciate them more every time we get together. To see them give up of themselves to talk with a troubled teen, play a game (and let’s be honest, really not fun in our eyes) and going all in amazes me.

In student ministry there are guidelines. You know, things you should and shouldn’t do. Some are commonsense, others are just reminders, but all the same it’s vital to remind them in training. Here is a list I believe are the 10 do’s of youth staff.

#1: Live a life honoring to God.”

Students are searching for adults who are authentic in their walk with Christ.  If there is one thing that teenagers have a keen ability to spot, it is fake people.

#2 “Be interested enough to learn their name.”

Students want to know if adults care enough to remember their names. 

#3 “Be interested in their life.”

Students need adults who will spend time with them, pray for them, say an encouraging word, believe in them, and simply laugh with them.  Students want to know if you are willing to come into “their world” and discover who they are.

 #4 “Be consistent with attendance.”

Students are familiar with adults who come in and out of their lives like a revolving door.  Teachers change from semester to semester.  Parents change from alternating weekends.  Teenagers need to know which adults are going to be consistent in their life.  This is one of the reasons that I have committed to youth ministry for nearly twenty years.

Students may ask it this way, “Do you care about me?  Do you know my name?  Will you be here next week?”  If you are willing to show teenagers you care about them, willing to learn some names, and be consistent with your attendance… YOU are the perfect youth ministry volunteer.

#5 Speak Life

Students don’t really care if you’re cool as much as they really care if you care. Stop gossip when you hear it, and whenever possible speak Life!

#6 Pure motives (not for what you will get out of it)

#7 Enthusiastic to serve (eager to serve God)

#8 Befriend Parents

Youth ministry partners with parents. Volunteers should always try to find ways to connect with the parents as well as the students. (Another words, don’t just wave to them when they pick up Joey, go to their car and say hi)

#9 Lift up church staff

Rumors spread like wildfire in church settings. Students may hear of certain things and some may be true, others may be opinions, but in ALL cases praise and honor church staff.

#10. Recruit
If you have a friend or you know of someone that would be a great fit for student ministry. Invite them to check out the ministry.

What would you add?

Do you know how to relate to Middle School students?

March 6, 2013 in high school, How To, Junior High Ministry, Leadership with 0 Comments

It was an exciting night last night. A bunch of crazy middle school students and some new faces at that!  The night was full of energy. Seeing their faces light up as we joke, pray, and hang out.

But here is an announcement…..I’m not a middle school student. Shocking, I know! I know that I look really young and I hate to be the one to break it to you. But I’m an adult. I have a 6 year old. I am married (10 years this June).  So what in the world do I have in common with a middle school student. One of the biggest misconceptions of student ministry is to find a young guy who will better “relate” to the student. I actually believe anyone can reach a student if they know something about the generation. We mention that throughout our ministry, how can we relate to the student. What is the definition of relate?

According to the Dictionary it means “to establish association (between two or more thing) or (of something) to have relation or reference. 

In ministry the purpose to to relate students to the Living God. You can be young, old, male, or female. But in order to relate to them, you must know them.

In student ministry (or any ministry) you must know the people who your communicating to. What music do they like? What social circles are they in? And etc. images

Here’s the good news right up front: You don’t have to be culturally relevant, but it may be helpful to know the world your students are living in. Here are a few ideas to help you connect with their culture quickly:

•Find out what shows your students watch and watch 10 minutes of each every now and then.

•Watch the MTV Movie Awards (or similar show) for a quick burst of culture…and a quick shock to your system.

•Pay attention to the commercials directed towards teenagers—what are they selling to students?

•Browse the magazines your students are reading.

•Stroll through a local mall and window shop at stores aimed at teens.

•Pick a student up after school for a Starbucks…get there a little early and just observe/listen.

•Join Facebook!

•Surf the Internet—visit sites that your students frequent.

•Go to the local movie theater on a Friday night.

•Ask questions.

 

Your are a leader..act like one!

March 4, 2013 in Leadership with 0 Comments

I understand that there are some that read my blog (thank you) that are not involved directly in ministry. Some are Youth Pastors, Pastors, and volunteer leaders (which if not more, as important). This post is for those serving in some capacity as leader.

As leaders, we should worry less about being a leader and more about being a shepherd. Don’t get me wrong, I love leading and have several books on Church, spiritual, and team leadership. But I must admit I’ve grown a bit weary of all the leadership lingo. For many people, “leadership” is just an excuse to be lazy. “I don’t do the nitty-gritty stuff: I like to cast vision.”  Here is something to consider, anybody can cast vision, not anybody can make that vision into a reality.

But instead of just focusing on leaders, focus on being a pastor. Determine to be the best shepherd of your flock. Tend to your flock, feed your flock, and fend off the wolves. Remember, Jesus called himself the good shepherd, not the good leader.

Did you notice, I said “worry less about being a leader,” not “Don’t worry at all.” You ARE a leader, so act like one. A  leader is a servant, bottom line! A leader gives up some rights for the good of the whole. A leader sees in others what they don’t see themselves. A leader recognizes the direction things need to go and gets the ministry or the team there. A leader knows his strengths and weaknesses. A leader develops a healthy team-not of people who exist to accomplish his/her goals, but of empowered initiative-takers.

(HT KJ)

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